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Football season is in the air

The NFL is back! Two weeks from tonight is the kickoff game… seriously, we can’t wait.

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When you need a special something

Every once in a while every needs to step outside the box. You know, to experiment with crystal meth or designer t shirts or something along those lines. Of course we are kidding about the meth part, that is highly not recommended, unless a miserable and short life followed by a painful death sounds appealing to you. Not that we recommend death either.

share save 256 24 When you need a special something

A nation of idiots…

… will be governed by idiots. And that’s all we have to say about that.

share save 256 24 A nation of idiots...

You are in luck!

Are you looking for a lovely loan to go with that dinner? Well, look no farther than right here for all of the best options. If you need info on term life rates or any other such appetizing data, of course we will provide that for you. And if you have any other questions, simply climb up a giant oak tree and scream them at us. We will hear you.

share save 256 24 You are in luck!

Happy days

Finally, the wind spinners are loose again. It’s been a long, hard summer here in America, but fall is in the air. And with it of course come everyone’s favorite scoundrels.

Speaking of scoundrels… well, nevermind. Has anyone ever considered the fact that the NBA season might seriously be canceled? That would be a tragedy. Woe upon our houses, this is what our nation gets for falling so far.

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Ever wondered

If you are like most people, you often lay awake at night dreaming of being chased down the road, in full view of your entire neighborhood, by honda mowers. As in, a group of them running free. For some, this dream represents their strange and eventful childhoods. Other people have just been smoking too much. But for a select few, that have the vision and the foresight to see through the cracks, it represents a lovely batch of pudding.

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Lovely plan

Questions about your Medicare part D plan? That is not surprising. Considering half of the country is trying to get rid of such “socialist” programs, we don’t blame you for being nervous. But far be it from us to sully our reputation at this site by dipping into politics. No, no, you won’t find us engaging in such outlandish behavior. But good luck with that whole health care thing.

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Idiots

So, here is a good idea, let’s let our government default on our debt. What could possibly go wrong with that? It’s not like the international finance system is based on the US treasury bonds representing a risk free investment. Also, it’s not like we already passed laws authorizing this spending that we need to borrow for… morons.

You don’t have to like government spending, but you shouldn’t be in congress if you don’t understand that default is not an option. And that lifting the debt limit is a procedural step, not an opportunity to play politics. Once the bills have been passed, we need to fund them.

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Watch out for hardeners

If you want your water to be lovely and pleasing to your skin, consider using water softeners. On the other hand, if you want your water to cause havoc and wreak devastation on anyone that encounters it, go for hardeners. And if you are really bitter and angry, try a nuke-ifier. It turns your water into a nuclear warhead complete with a long range delivery system!

share save 256 24 Watch out for hardeners

It’s a dream come true!

Have you ever laid awake at night dreaming of owning your own personalized apron? So have we! And now, thanks to breakthroughs in technology, it can be yours! This breakthrough is yet another result of NASA space shuttle research, and it is just so sad that those damn shuttles won’t be shuttling any more.

share save 256 24 Its a dream come true!