Speak of the devil

Speaking of ways to prematurely end your life, have you looked into auto insurance? You probably should not be driving your car if you have never looked into it.  And if you have looked into it but don’t have it, you shouldn’t be driving either.  That is illegal.  Got it kids?  Illegal.  The insurance industry, [...]

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Acne again?

Apparently we were not clear enough in the last post. In case you can’t figure it out, the solutions we listed also work well as adult acne treatment. But at the risk of leading our trusting and naive readers astray, we are not going to repeat them any more. It seems crazy perhaps, but you [...]

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We’ve got solutions

Looking for an acne solution? We’ve got a couple of great ones you should try. First, try decapitation.  That usually takes care of the problem.  If it doesn’t, a swim in a boiling fat of oil should kill the acne.  Finally, you could just shoot it.  Acne doesn’t stand up well to bullets, at least [...]

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not these again

If only we had a dollar for every time we have had to write about fat burner pills. Oh wait. Never mind. As usual, if you really want to lose weight and keep it off, try my patented system of diet and exercise.  Some combination of the two is guaranteed to work, and is highly [...]

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Toronto?

We are not sure why you would wish to go to Toronto, considering that all of the action is in Vancouver right now. But if you do need to look into Toronto hotels, do not let us stop you!  Drag your lazy buttocks to expedia or travelocity or some such site and search to your [...]

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window drapery

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I am here to lecture you about blinds.  Blinds are like curtains, only they are thicker and more deadly to light attempting to penetrate them.  That’s kind of a sad thought, actually.  I mean, the light could be from a distant star.  It could have travelled billions of light years, [...]

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whatever…

Have you ever been in a real pinch, where a regular plunger just won’t do? Well then, take a look at the new and improved spring plungers available wherever spring plungers are sold! Just do not ask us what the heck a spring plunger is. We can only assume that it is a smaller and [...]

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Zene

Have you ever heard of lipozene?   Well then, you don’t need us to tell you about it.  If you would like to know more, click the little blue thing… commonly known as a “link” or even the more excitable “hyperlink.”  If you would not like to know more, feel free to proceed with your day [...]

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could be worse

Which would you rather: death, being locked in a cage with Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, or a case of adult acne? For us the choice is rather simple, though dependent on whether Glenn and Rush would be hungry or not.  Because honestly, those two could collectively eat their way through a million-man march.  But [...]

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Scary stuff

We have no idea what quick trim fast cleanse is referring to, but no thanks! It sounds like some new and ever so revolutionary shaving technique that is going to go horribly awry.  Let it not go horribly awry well it is quickly trimming and fastly cleansing us!  That would be dreadful, like that one [...]

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