this really is a new one

Well this really is a new one. We often feign surprise during this diatribes, but seriously, what is nuphedragen? Is it a dragon, or reptile, or some sort of crazy molecular element?  In any case, it’s far beyond our ability to comprehend, so we’ll do what Glenn Beck does when facing an intellectual challenge.  Namely, [...]

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drugs are the answer

Are you tired of dark eye circles? I know I am. That’s why I started using cocaine. Not only does it give you an incredible burst of energy, it also makes you forget all about your dark circles. Indeed, you don’t even notice all of the other horrible effects it has on you. It’s a [...]

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a whole new world

Tired of injuring your butt because you sit on hard things? Well, those days are over. That’s right, there is this great new invention known as outdoor cushions. Away with the dull drudgery of bruised buttocks.  From now on, you will think you are floating through the clouds as you sit on your lovely cusions.  [...]

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whatever

Are you looking for the inside scoop on Outer banks foreclosures? Well you have come to the wrong place because we don’t have any idea what is going on. But if you are looking for the inside scoop on procrastinating or just plain wasting time, we can help you there.  Anyways, enough about that.  It’s [...]

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keep dreaming

What’s that? You are looking for affordable car insurance? HA! Move to Canada. Or better yet, give up altogether because even our frozen communist neighbors to the north probably don’t have affordable car insurance. You know what you should really do? You should buy a bike, that is what you should do. And you should [...]

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Books are evil

Glenn Beck told me that books are evil.  That’s because they contain objective “facts” and other things that can’t be explained away by crying and blubbering about how much you love your country.  But you can, however, use them for starting fires and keeping yourself and your family warm.  Anyway, enough about Glenn Beck.  Is [...]

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you forgot them

You forgot them, didn’t you? You know, invitations.  For your wedding.  Which is really soon.  Well, PANIC, because there is probably no saving you at this point.  In fact, you might as well just forget the whole thing.  Clearly if you cannot order invitations in a timely manner together, you cannot spend your lives together.  [...]

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if towels are beneath you

Here you go, you silver spoon using liberal elites– your very own hand dryers. Now you can dry your slimy communist fascist liberal hands without irritating your delicate flower blossom hands. Oh, aren’t you just the king of the world.  If that isn’t enough for you, why don’t you start going on about how much [...]

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check them out

Check out top diet pills here. Or, if you are interested in actually losing weight and getting healthy, get off your butt and go jogging. Pills and other short cuts won’t work, and if they do work, they won’t work for very long. You simply need to ingest less fat & calories than you burn. [...]

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step right up

Yes, it’s true, you can get eczema here if you are so inclined. If you are so dis-inclined, feel free to continue reading this lovely post which will ber altenerately whimsical and just plain dumb.  Actually, that is way too ambitous for this post.  This post will be lame, stupid, and pointless.  Some other time [...]

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